February 2012
62 posts
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Girl, look what you've done to me
Oh no, Davy Jones.
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Who's got two thumbs and a computer?
this girl
and MANY OTHERS
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Fervently re-typed
Went to bed at 5 AM
Dad called at 7:30
Going to work now
Bye.
R.I.P. COMPUTER WITH FELLOWSHIP APPLICATION
2008-2012
Today is terrible, objectively.
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Hell is robotic phone trees.
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Diary of a Dishwasher #1
Dear Diary,
The sink is clogged, and I’m feeling kind of neglected. It’s like, why doesn’t anyone just pay attention to me?
Signed,
Dishwasher
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Diary of a Dishwasher #2
Dear Diary,
I’m gonna do it. I’m finally gonna do it. All the cards on the table. No stopping me now.
Cheers,
Dishwasher
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Diary of a Dishwasher #3
Dear Diary,
I leaked. I leaked so hard.
You should have seen their faces. One of them tried to push me into doing something else, and I was like, “okay okay I’ll play along, Buster,” and then SIKE! Totally stuck it to them and leaked again.
Best,
Dishwasher
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Diary of a Dishwasher #4
Dear Diary,
Detective Holmes over there says I leaked because of a blockage in the U-bend pipe under the sink? Hah! Just get me a cosmo.
Yours truly,
Dishwasher
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Diary of a Dishwasher #5
Dear Diary,
I don’t know what’s happening. They keep looking at the sink. They keep feeding stuff into the sink. Pick ME. Choose ME. Love ME.
Confused?,
Dishwasher
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Diary of a Dishwasher #6
Dear Diary,
I can’t believe they bought it another Drano. Fuck this. Fuck them. I hate myself. Oh God, I’m actually crying. I can’t believe I’m actually crying. They’re fucking monsters.
Regretfully,
Dishwasher
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Diary of a Dishwasher #7
Dear Diary,
I am beside myself. I cried the hardest I’ve ever cried before, and she bought 99-cent paper towels. Ever heard of aloe? Get me out of here. Get me out of here now.
No one gets me,
Dishwasher
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Diary of a Dishwasher #8
Dear Diary,
Well now they’ve done it. They’re done handling it on their own. Well fuck them, because I don’t need “professional” help! I’m fucking fine. I don’t need anyone.
Is anything right?,
Dishwasher
To be continued …
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Anyone who watches Community and likes talking about television wanna read a spec?
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“What’s French bread pizza?”
– Jamie, in her thesis on why Missouri sounds like the saddest state
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Improv Observer: Tuesday, February 14th - Harold... →
improvobservations:
I’ve been meaning to write about Grandma’s Ashes for awhile now, just turns out, their Valentine’s Day Harold was blown out of the water, making for a pretty easy pick this week. What can I say about Grandma’s Ashes that you don’t already know? They are super supportive of one another’s ideas and…
Wonderfully accurate analysis on one of my favorite Harold teams and a...
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Always: Niles Crane
Niles: Just wonderful, when's [your marriage to Brian]?
Lilith: Tomorrow, in Las Vegas.
Niles: [laughs] Oh, Lilith, how delightfully kitchy! It's your second marriage, so you've decided to poke fun at the institution by getting married in the tackiest place you could possible choose!
Lilith: Brian's family lives in Las Vegas.
Niles: Well... isn't that convenient? You'll have someone to show you the museums.
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Seriously, Wikipedia? You just spoiled Frasier? Well, fine.
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Dan Harmon, "The Tao of Poop" →
If you want to make a good pilot, it’s easy enough, and there are now over a hundred videos on the site to help you see that to varying degrees.
But what guidance exists for someone who wants to make the shittiest pilot ever?
[…] To maximize the shittiness of your submission and really feel the heartbreak of its rejection, spend the most time possible on it. As Gina Davis once...
alexandra ewing is on the internet.: Rihanna,... →
perpetua:
I’m pretty grossed out about the notion that Rihanna is collaborating with Chris Brown again. I don’t really have any particular investment in her as a person and only occasionally care about her music, but in terms of cultural narrative, I think she is sending a poisonous and…
Not to mention that people should probably hate Chris Brown more because HE’S THE ONE WHO...
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For the love of laffin'
It’s odd to say that I’m “self-made” because I’ve had a lot of support from my family and the constant encouragement of friends. But, because this is a blog and I can do what I want, I am going to operationally define my “self-making” to be the decision to go into the “arts.”
When people say that comedic sensibility* is innate and not...
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“[Film does] not have the space to grow characters into a series. The characters...”
– I’m finally reading this article my mom sent me about Breaking Bad a million years ago (INSTEAD OF HOMEWORK!!) and this sentence nails one of the reasons I love TV more than movies. (via supcakes)
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Netflix's Recommendations
Based on Jamie’s queue: Friday Night Lights
Based on Rekha’s queue: Murder, She Wrote
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Part Two: Creator Jim Jinkins Says, "You Don't... →
You can read Part One one of the interview here.
“We were basically doing animated sitcoms and what they’re doing now is a whole other approach, I guess. I don’t find it as interesting. I want to hear a really good story. A really good, funny story.”
That’s it. Yes, it’s a stale to complain about the old days of Nickelodeon versus the new days of Nickelodeon, and I’m totally...
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The Best of Sherlock
MORE SHERLOCK - BECAUSE I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS.
Sherlock exemplifies a lot of elements of comedy. Obviously there are more overt jokes sprinkled into the scripts and into the classy, whimsical style of the show, but there’s also inherent philosophical ties to humor in the way it’s structured and written. Sherlock himself is at his best when his actions and logic are not beyond an...
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I'm A Geek For This: What's the one boat that can... →
pentakill-lux:
That ineffable intimacy, Gatiss says, is what lies at the heart of his and Steven Moffat’s updated stories. “It’s very much a men’s thing - they’re just friends. You can’t really quantify it. I’m sure that you could never explain it. Except that John Watson is gradually making Sherlock Holmes…
THIS IS ALL THAT’S GOING TO BE HAPPENING FOR THE NEXT HOUR, SORRY.
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All I wanna do is cry and talk about Sherlock.
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I had a dream last night that Elizabethtown was a highly-controversial movie about politics and women’s rights.
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In some distant world in the future, will it be possible to communicate with your friend entirely through Sherlock fan fiction?
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Josh Patten: During What Movie Did Alanis... →
joshpatten:
Alanis Morissette’s 1995 hit “You Oughta Know” famously describes her previous relationship with Dave Coulier. While Alanis remains tight-lipped on the subject, Uncle Joey has confirmed this urban legend to be fact, which makes this line tremendously gross:
I want you to know, that I’m happy…
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“What I was looking for though, was something more. Something purer. I was...”
– Reasons to never use Yelp